The Other Diet

This woman has her bridge club every Thursday and after a peaceful game or two with the ladies, she goes home to fix her husband dinner when he gets home from work. One day, she's playing a great game and she has an incredible hand when she notices the time. "Oh, no! I have to go fix my husband his dinner! He's going to be so angry if it's not ready on time." And she dashes out of her friend's house, her great hand lying forgotten on the table.

When she gets home, she realizes she has very little time - not enough time to go to the grocery store - and all she has in the cupboard is a wilted lettuce leaf, an egg and a can of cat food. In a panic, she opens the can of cat food, stirs in the egg, and garnishes it with the lettuce leaf just as her husband is pulling up. She watches in horror as he sits down to his dinner, and then she realizes he's loving it.

"Mmmm, Honey...this is the best dinner you have made for me in forty years of marriage. You can make this for me any old day. Mmmm!" And that night they have sex for the first time in months and it's great.

Every Thursday from then on she makes this dinner for her husband. She tells her bridge cronies about it and they're all horrified. "You're going to kill him," they say, or "He's just yanking your chain," but she continues to make him his cat food dinner and then, afterwards, they would boink like fiends.

Two months later, her husband dies and the Thursday after the funeral all of the bridge ladies attack the new widow for being so callous. "You killed him! We told you that feeding him that cat food every week would do him in. How can you just sit there so calmly and play bridge knowing you murdered your husband?"

The wife stoically replies, "I didn't kill him. He broke his neck. He fell off the mantel while he was lying there there licking his ass."

Why is this called "The Other Diet"? See The Diet.

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