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Moose Turd Pie II

The cowboys had been out on the trail with the herd for two weeks already and Wishbone's cooking was beginning to wear a little thin. The grumbling about his bad food was approaching mutiny status.

Having had enough of everyone's pissing and moaning, the trail boss decided to do something about the situation. He ruled that all of the cowboys would draw straws and that whoever came up short would have to replace Wishbone as the company cook. But there was one caveat. Anyone who thereafter complained about the new chef's cooking would have to take over the job himself.

The poor cowhand who lost the draw began his first day as the new cook by throwing together the worst meal he could think of. He wanted someone to complain right away so that he could get off this terrible assignment. Unfortunately for him, no one complained that first evening. Everyone just choked down their food in silence.

This went on for several days as the new cook deliberately made the meals worse and worse every day. But still, no one complained. No one dared to gripe about the food because they knew they would have to immediately take over the cooking.

After five days the new cook waited until all the hands were well out of sight as they hit the trail early the next morning. With bucket in hand, he went out on the prairie and started picking up moose turds. That evening, at the next camp, he baked a beautiful pie – the filling of which was a pudding made from his collection of moose turds.

After an especially bad dinner of burnt meat, moldy bread and weak coffee, the new chef brought out his pie. Still, no one said a word about how bad it was. In silence they all choked down the pie, some of them holding their noses, others almost throwing up. Again, no one complained.

But one cowpoke had simply gotten to the point where he couldnt take the punishment any longer. In a fit of rage he stood up, threw his pie plate to the ground and shouted, "Goddammit, you can't fool me! I know what this is! This here's moose turd pie!"

Dead silence.

"But gooooooooood!"

Blinky Note

Obviously, this has just been "jokized"; the whole setting has been moved, it's no longer a first-person tale, and I'm not convinced you'd find many moose "out on the prarie".

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