The Buttercups

Towards the end of the day's round of golf, Dave hit his ball into the woods and found it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every flower in the patch.

All of a sudden, poof! In a flash of light and a puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared.

She said, "I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups? Just for doing what you've done, you won't have any butter for your popcorn for the rest of your life. Better still, you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life. As a matter of fact, you'll never have any butter for anything for the rest of your life!"

And then, as quickly as she had materialized, she was gone.

After Dave recovered from the shock - and his bad lie -he hollered for his friend, "Fred, where are you?"

Fred shouted back, "I'm over here in the damned pussy willows."

And Dave replied, "DON'T SWING, Fred! For the love of God, DON'T SWING!

Odds...