Life Explained

On the first day, God created the cow. God said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a lifespan of 60 years." The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for 60 years. Let me have 20 and I'll give back the other 40."

And God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh I'll give you a 20-year lifespan." The monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for 20 years? I don't think so. Give me 10 years and I'll give you back the other 10."

God agreed again.

On the third day, God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a lifespan of 20 years." The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. The monkey gave you back 10, so that's what I'll do too, okay?"

God sighed – and agreed.

On the fourth day, God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, have sex, enjoy. Do nothing, just enjoy. I'll give you 20 years." Man said, "That sounds great – but only 20 years? No way, man. Tell you what, I'll take the 20, and the 40 the cow gave back, and the 10 the monkey gave back and the 10 the dog gave back – that makes 80, okay?"

"Oh, all right," said God, "you've got a deal."

And this is why the first 20 years we eat, sleep, play, have sex, enjoy, and do nothing; for the next 40 years we slave in the sun to support our family; for the next 10 years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren; and for the last 10 years we just sit on the porch and bark at everyone.

Odds...