An Excerpt From Shakespeare's Scolius Seizure

Recently found in a cave near Lindon, Utah, USA
By Matt Thomas

Darl is an honorable man
Authored by: MT on Sunday, July 11 2004 @ 10:02 PM EDT
Apologies to Mr. Shakespeare

IBM: Friends, Coders,
businessmen, lend me your ears;
I come to bury Linux, not to praise it.
The evil that men code lives after them;
The good is oft interred with their bugs;
So let it be with Linux. The noble Darl
Hath told you Linux was infringing:
If it were so, it was a grievous fault,
And grievously hath Linux answer'd it.
Here, under leave of Darl and the rest --
For Darl is an honourable man;
So are they all, all honourable men --
Come I to speak at Linux's funeral.
It was my tool, useful and free to me:
But Darl says it was infringing;
And Darl is an honourable man.
He hath brought many investors home to SCO
Whose dollars did the corporate coffers fill:
Did this in Linux seem infringing?
When that the poor need patches, Linux hath wept:
Infringement should be made of sterner stuff:
Yet Darl says it was infringing;
And Darl is an honourable man.
You all did see that at the Linuxcon
I thrice presented it a software patent,
Which it did thrice refuse: was this infringement?
Yet Darl says it was infringing;
And, sure, he is an honourable man.
I speak not to disprove what Darl spoke,
But here I am to speak what I do know.
You all did love it once, not without cause:
What cause withholds you then, to mourn for it?
O judgment! thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason. Bear with me;
My heart is in the courtroom there with Linux,
And I must pause till it come back to me ....
But yesterday the word of Linux might
Have stood against the world; now waits it there.
And none so poor to do it reverence.
O masters, if I were disposed to stir
Your hearts and minds to mutiny and rage,
I should do Darl wrong, and Boies wrong,
Who, you all know, are honourable men:
I will not do them wrong; I rather choose
To wrong the dead, to wrong myself and you,
Than I will wrong such honourable men.
But here's a parchment with the deal of Linux;
I found it in its headers, 'tis its will:
Let but the commons hear this testament --
Which, pardon me, I do not mean to read --
And they would go and kiss dead Linux's wounds
And dip their compilers in its sacred code,
Yea, beg a hair of it for memory,
And, dying, mention it within their wills,
Bequeathing it as a rich legacy
Unto their issue.

Fourth OpenSourcer: We'll hear the will: read it, IBM.

All: The will, the will! we will hear Linux's will.

IBM: Have patience, gentle friends, I must not read it;
It is not meet you know how Linux loved you.
You are not wood, you are not stones, but men;
And, being men, hearing the will of Linux,
It will inflame you, it will make you mad:
'Tis good you know not that you are its heirs;
For, if you should, O, what would come of it!

Fourth OpenSourcer: Read the will; we'll hear it, IBM;
You shall read us the will, Linux's will.

IBM: Will you be patient? will you stay awhile?
I have o'ershot myself to tell you of it:
I fear I wrong the honourable men
Whose lawyers have stabb'd Linux; I do fear it.

Fourth OpenSourcer: They were traitors: honourable men!

All: The will! the testament!...

IBM: If you have tears, prepare to shed them now.
You all do know this license: I remember
The first time ever Linux put it on;
'Twas on a summer's evening, on internet,
That day it open-sourced itself:
Look, in this place ran Boies' dagger through:
See what a rent the envious Didio made:
Through this the well-beloved Darl stabb'd;
And as he pluck'd his cursed suit away,
Mark how the blood of Linux follow'd it,
As rushing out of doors, to be resolved
If Darl so unkindly knock'd, or no;
For Darl, as you know, sold a Linux distribution:
Judge, O you gods, how dearly Linux loved him!
This was the most unkindest cut of all;
For when the noble Linux saw him stab,
Ingratitude, more strong than traitors' arms,
Quite vanquish'd him: then burst its mighty heart;
And, in its license offering up its code,
Even at the base of Stallman's statue,
Which all the while ran blood, great Linux fell.
O, what a fall was there, my businessmen!
Then I, and you, and all of us fell down,
Whilst bloody treason flourish'd over us.
O, now you weep; and, I perceive, you feel
The dint of pity: these are gracious drops.
Kind souls, what, weep you when you but behold
Our Linux's license wounded? Look you here,
Here is itself, marr'd, as you see, with traitors.

First Opensourcer: O piteous spectacle!

Second Opensourcer: O noble Linux!...

All: Revenge! About! Seek! Burn! Fire! Kill! Slay!
Let not a SCO exec live!...

IBM: Good friends, sweet friends, let me not stir you up
To such a sudden flood of mutiny.
They that have done this deed are honourable:
What private griefs they have, alas, I know not,
That made them do it: they are wise and honourable,
And will, no doubt, with reasons answer you.
I come not, friends, to steal away your hearts:
I am no orator, as Darl is;
But, as you know me all, a plain blunt man,
That love my friend; and that they know full well
That gave me public leave to speak of him:
For I have neither wit, nor words, nor worth,
Action, nor utterance, nor the power of speech,
To stir men's blood: I only speak right on;
I tell you that which you yourselves do know;
Show you sweet Linux's wounds, poor poor dumb mouths,
And bid them speak for me: but were I Darl,
And Darl IBM, there were an IBM
Would ruffle up your spirits and put a tongue
In every wound of Linux that should move
Freemen of the world to rise and mutiny.

All: We'll mutiny ....

IBM: Why, friends, you go to do you know not what:
Wherein hath Linux thus deserved your loves?
Alas, you know not: I must tell you then:
You have forgot the will I told you of ....
To every world citizen it gives,
To every several person, its copyleft....
Moreover, it hath left you all its works,
The right to copy and to distribute,
And make your changes; it hath left them you,
And to your heirs for ever, an uncommon kernel,
To code at will, and recreate yourselves.
Here was Linux! when comes such another?

First Opensourcer: Never, never. Come, away, away!
We'll find SCOs flaws in the court place,
And with the errors write them up on Groklaw.
Take up the case!

Second Opensourcer: Go fetch Pacer.

Third Opensourcer: Download pleadings.

Fourth Opensourcer: Download forms, orders, any thing.

[Exeunt Coders with the internet.]

IBM: Now let it work. Mischief, thou art afoot,
Take thou what course thou wilt!
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License. It originally appeared on Groklaw.
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